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February 01, 2007

Top 10 Ways to Impress a Woman on Valentine's Day

Ganache_1

This has absolutely nothing to do with OpenOffice.org. But sometimes it's nice to clear the palate, bring in something entirely different, and be renewed and refreshed. So think of this as the verbal equivalent of a nice lemon sorbet. ;>

The following list is for men who already have girlfriends or wives, men who are seeking wives or girlfriends, or anything in between. In no particular order:

10. Homemade chocolate.
They say that the gift of chocolate on Valentine's Day is passe' but those are the same people who've been predicting the paperless workplace for the last thirty years.  Find a great recipe at http://www.cooksillustrated.com/login.asp?did=1520&LoginForm=recipe&iseason= , or get a recommendation from a foodie friend. You'll just need some time for a few failures, perseverance, and a candy thermometer, to make  something delicious. Then whether you give it as a gift (wrapped beautifully and/or surprisingly), serve it as dessert, or casually have it in a candy dish on your desk at work, you will be impressive and attractive.

9. Do something your wife or girlfriend would swear you would never do. (Something good.)
If your wife is the one who always does all the planning and packing for trips, then plan and IMPLEMENT a weekend getaway in which she has to do exactly nothing. Pack, remember the champagne, be sure you get a room with a private hot tub, etc. If you never make a fuss over your girlfriend on Valentine's Day, then make a fuss: wake her up with breakfast in bed and a single rose in a bud vase, etc.

8. Write something from the heart.
Write down how you feel about her. Work on it. Refine it. Ask for editing, but not composition, assistance if necessary. If you feel so inclined, make it a poem. If you feel so inclined, set it to music. Write it up on an overpriced handmade card from your local paper specialty store. Unless you're dating Miranda from Sex and the City it is hard to make this too romantic. You don't need to be falsely mushy and romantic, you can include humor or references to the time you got stuck under the bleachers at the Billy Joel concert, but make it sincere and make her cry.  If you feel so inclined, dedicate a section of programming to her on your local public radio station and have them read it (it'll need to be short). Be sure to arrange for her to be listening. She'll love it.

7. Expose your feelings to the little red-haired girl.
If you're interested in someone who's single, then this is as good a time as any to make a play. Do it with flowers, though maybe not the boring red roses. Be frank, romantic, and brief in the note. Something like "You're beautiful, smart, and I love spending time with you. May I take you out to dinner tonight?"

6. Take her out dancing.
Most women love to be taken dancing. Not only is it fun but it's a rare delight to date a man who dances. This of course requires some planning ahead if you don't know how to dance yet. So here are some approaches.

- Go back in time and take private dance lessons. Then take your wife or girlfriend out dancing. Check your local area for the types of dancing that would allow you the most opportunities for social dancing in your age group -- if you're 20, you might have more luck with salsa or cowboy dancing than with ballroom, for instance. Be sure to dress appropriately if the dance place is dressy, and let her know ahead of time how to dress, even if the dancing is going to be a surprise.
- Not necessarily on Valentine's Day, but perhaps a few days before or after, ask the woman you're interested in if she'd like to sign up to take private dance lessons with you. It's easier, you tell her, if you have a partner to learn with, etc.
- Ditto above, but with your wife or girlfriend. And of course with her you don't have to spin it as just a casual thing.

5. Give an amazing gift.
Beyond lingerie, teddy bears, and chocolate. Think big. Possibly get one of those customized romance novels about the two of you or, better yet, write one. If she loves Buffy, find something on Ebay that's VDay appropriate -- a red sweater, some lingerie-like item, something from a romantic episode, etc. If her favorite band won't be coming through your city on tour this year, then (this is a big-ticket item) buy plane tickets and concert tickets for wherever they will be. If your honey loves jewelry, then something in a Tiffany's box, from Tiffany's, will make her squeal. (The Tiffany's box is very important.) Create a photo album, with labels of when and where each picture was, of the last year or six months of your life with her, or your lives together since you met. Make it pretty and put some work into it; go to your local scrapbooking place or look for ideas online.

4. The classic seduction dinner on steroids.
You can do this at home, in a park or on a rooftop if weather permits, at a friend's huge house if they're out of town, on the dock by the lake where you met, on a boat, or wherever the best place would be. You can do a picnic, a white tablecloth indoor setup with lots of candles, or something in between. Go heavy on the candles or other interesting lighting (small white strings of Christmas lights). Dress up unless you're going to get dirty -- tux if you have it, your best suit otherwise. Make everything from scratch, or if she has a favorite restaurant, see if you can get them to prepare food. Do all the gentleman stuff -- pulling out the chair, standing up as you serve her, etc. Consider your music selection carefully; you might start with some nice jazz or classical music, progressing to romantic/heartbreaking Tom Waits or perhaps classic Barry White.  Wine is also very important, though of  course if she's a martini girl then you want to go that way with the shaker, the olive or onion--the whole nine yards. Don't forget dessert; it's gotta be chocolate or cheesecake or something else truly wonderful.  None of this "fruit with whipped cream" stuff.

3. Spa night at home.
If you found that time machine for the dancing thing, then use it again to go back in time and take massage classes. Or just go with what you think works massage wise. Components of a great spa night include:

- Meet her at the door wearing a cabana boy outfit.

- Provide  a cute new robe for her (can be terry, not lingerie, as long as it's cute)

- Decorate the bathroom in a Hawaiian theme if you're going with the cabana boy motif all night

- Prepare a nice hot bath for her with bath salts (not too much). You will get big points for throwing in a bunch of rose petals and having flowers nearby in a vase. Play some nice background music.

- Give her a (plastic) wine glass of champagne or wine.  Provide chocolates or some other snack as well. If she wants you to and if the bath is big enough, get in with her and pumice her feet and shave her legs.

- After the bath is massage time. Use a nice-smelling massage oil or lotion and spend at least 20 minutes.

- After massage, if you feel steady handed enough and she wants you to, paint her toenails. Keep the wine/champagne and the bonbons coming.

- After massage, try either just cuddling by the fireplace, or watching a romantic/sexy movie.

2. Sometimes the most romantic things are the most prosaic.
Arrange to have the whole house cleaned intensely from top to bottom while she's at work, and have dinner waiting when she gets home.  If children are involved, arrange for them to stay overnight elsewhere. If you've been telling her you'll fix the washer, clean out the garage, and/or a million other things, then stay home from work and do them. Whatever problems she has around the house that you can solve, solve them.

Then on top of that, do something nice like at least a card and a nice dinner. Practical gifts are nice but they can't stand alone.

1. Meet her after work at her office wearing your tux, in the back of a limo with flowers and champagne, a  change of clothes (for her), and a wonderful plan for a night on the town.

The only times I get to ride in limos are when it's the cheapest way to get to and from a tech conference. Riding in a limo without a laptop bag or worrying about getting to the San Jose airport is Exciting.

For the night on the town, just do what she'd like. If she's a singer, make reservations at a piano bar. If she's a dancer, dancing. If she's a practical type, then the best place for beer, pool, and darts. If she enjoys socializing, then maybe make it a double date (and split the cost of the limo). Keep the limo all night. Heck, maybe just ride around in it all night and eat takeout and drink and make out. Just make it whatever your honey would like.

Digg it!



Posted at 08:21 AM |

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