Kathy Sierra Is a Good Friend Who Wants to Help People Kick Butt....Nooses Are Not an Appropriate Reaction (For Her or Anyone Else)

I haven't seen Kathy in a month or so and she's kind of busy right now. So to do what I can to be supportive and comforting, here's a big public cyberspace hug to try to visually offset the nasty stuff.

I am going to go out on a limb (a big, 100-foot thick limb) and say that the things my friend Kathy has experienced go WAY beyond what we want to allow in a "trolls will be trolls" free speech world.  Also, as she says, death threats are actually against the law too. Just as no matter how funny you think the bomb joke is at the airport -- yep, actually saying it is against the law.

So no matter what kind of nasty hatred is bubbling up inside of you, you don't Photoshop her picture with a noose, and you don't make horrible comments about wanting to kill her, laced with violent sexual language.

Here's her post about everything that's been happening.
http://headrush.typepad.com/creating_passionate_users/2007/03/as_i_type_this_.html

Slashdot is talking about it.
http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/03/27/174231

The BBC is talking about it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6499095.stm

Thomas Duff has an excellent post on the subject, on the ludicrousness of sayin it's all OK because it was just the virtual, online persona who does this.
http://hostit1.connectria.com/twduff/home.nsf/d6plinks/TDUF-6ZQEXN

Here's an EXTREMELY justified post from Michelle Malkin, saying where was everybody and their outrage when someone posted this comment.  http://www.haloscan.com/comments.php?user=atrios&comment=114610797516989866#7765885 

"Let's sexually torture, rape, murder and dismember the Malkin family."
           The Aluminum Sombrero | 04.27.06 - 8:16 am |

Here's Michelle's post.
http://michellemalkin.com/archives/007191.htm

Here's Jeff Goldstein's site. He went through some real nastiness with someone who also made threats.
http://www.proteinwisdom.com/
Here's some background from Michelle.
http://michellemalkin.com/archives/005507.htm

You might wonder why someone like Kathy who talks about how to make great products would be the target of something like this.  Or how someone could start typing these awful things about anyone else and not have common sense and decency step in and stop them from at least clicking the Post button. It's tempting to say that it's just crazy, that these people are mentally ill, but I think that excuses  him, or them.  I think they're awful people, period, who know it's wrong but do it anyway. I think we should hold people responsible for their actions.

You might also think, "That's just the way it is. The online world is full of shitheads. Kathy should just ignore it."

Bullshit. That is the way it is, yes, but since when is accepting a current situation that is hateful, the right thing to do?  At various points people have used the same rationale to argue that people should just accept racism, sexism (an element of the attacks on Kathy),  and a thousand other issues.  Would you want your mother or your daughter or your sister to see herself with a noose around her neck and for someone to email her saying  this?

"fuck off you boring slut... i hope someone slits your throat and cums down your gob"

No? Then it's something to fight against, not accept as inevitable. Fight with what? Take comments like that off your blog. Criticize rather than ignore people who do it. Etc.

Kathy's a wonderful, supportive friend. I was her maid of honor.  She fed me ice cream and gave me  top-quality girl talk the night I broke up with my ex. She can't get going in the morning without her coffee; plays poker but always thinks a straight should be higher than a flush; has a lovable but less-than-bright dog; goes to music festivals;  and loves her job.

The people  who think they should be able to say these things aren't going to say "Oh, was that wrong? I'm sorry." They're going to continue to be trolls, by and large.  But the rest of us can take the stand that it's wrong to threaten to slit people's  throats and torture them, and refuse to tolerate it.   

http://onlineprojects4teachers.com/wordpress/?p=208

Hey, in 20 years we turned smoking from something cool to something disgusting.  Public opinion is powerful, and it's a power that can be used for good.

---

Comments

[Anonymous]

Thanks for such a warming post.

[Solveig Haugland]

Thanks for your kind comment. I like to think that enough public opinion and peer pressure can change behavior. It's happened before; it can happen again.

[Thomas Zander]

Thumbs up!

I've seen it occasionally on IRC; where one person is being nasty and when you say something they answer that its none of my concern. I always explain that it is, someone hitting on, pissing on, or otherwise being socially immature is a problem of society and *you* are also part of that. So everyone should speak up when there is one that thinks the rules don't apply to him.

Thanks Solveig, very good initiative!

[Solveig Haugland]

Exactly; some people have an independent frontier everyone-can-do-what-they-want attitude but that's not true. You can't. Society has zillions of rules for behavior, and refraining from threatening torture and rape definitely falls within those rules. So we need to enforce these social rules online, since we already do in normal interactions. If people still claim they need some sort of outlet, then they can go online to SecondWorld or whatever it's called and set up a TortureVille city where everyone expects it.

I think this is, kind of, another example of ethics not keeping up with the technology. People who would not walk up to Kathy or Michelle or Jeff in person and threaten to slit their throats or kidnap their children feel fine about doing it online.

Right now I'd mostly just like to go up to Kathy's house, tuck her under my arm, bring her back and make her pancakes and cocoa and talk girltalk at her until she starts to feel normal again. ;>

[Duffbert]

Thanks for the kind words about my post. It burns me up to see what is happening to someone I consider a friend...

[Solveig Haugland]

>> Thanks for the kind words about my post. It burns me up to see what is happening to someone I consider a friend...

You're a sane, well-reasoned voice.

I just went up to see her and she's actually handling it all pretty well. The funny thing is, everyone (BBC, etc.) keeps looking for what could have set these people off, and of course, we have no clue. Is it her positive, encouraging attitude? Her insightful, well-researched information? Her controversial recommendation of container-managed over bean-managed persistence? ;>

And as we've seen it is by no means just Kathy. Nasty people make horrible attacks on innocent people every day.

What ribbon should we wear for Stop Cyber Bullying day? ;>

[Duffbert]

Ah... I hadn't considered the bean-managed persistence angle. So this *is* all Kathy's fault! :)

Seriously, I think that mystery is what makes it so hard for me. I can't see her as a lightening rod for controversy of any sort. Scoble? Microsoft. Scoble's wife? Please! After reading a number of the email exchanges on the computer book publishers group, I think far too much of it ends up being that she's a successful woman who enjoys a following of readers, and there are those who just can't accept that. And the cretins who post that garbage figure that a gender attack shows who has the "real power".

I was surprised to also find out that a number of male authors have also experienced the whole stalker/threat situation. Again, I'm not naive, but I never thought that the dark underbelly of the 'net was that pervasive.

This whole experience has changed my views and actions permanently, and it's made me far more willing to stand up and say "enough is enough" when it comes to virtual society that crosses the bounds of normal human decency...

I just wish it hadn't come at such a cost...

[wow power leveling]

http://www.gamegoldme.com/
http://www.wowgold-powerleveling.com/
http://www.wowgold-wow.com/
http://www.wowpowerleveling.me
http://www.watchrolexshop.com
http://www.wowgold-wow.com/wow-power-leveling
http://rs-runescapegold.com/
http://www.watchrolexshop.com/wow-power-leveling/
http://www.cheap-lotrogold.com/
http://www.globalsale.me/Aion-gold-083.aspx
http://www.cheap-gamegold.org
http://www.gamegoldvip.org
http://www.globalsale.me/